Big Love
by JLLB
Summary: Dead
1. Prologue: a glimpse of both sides

**Mistakes are mine, Mai Hime is not.**

**Review? **

The cafeteria was always a bustling place.

High school kids were hungry kids, the need to fill their growing – and frequently horny – bodies with food a near-constant one. Life was full when you were a teenager; so many things to do, places to go; girls and boys to make out with; gossip to spread; competition to crush at sport; losers to beat up (or bullies to avoid if one were a loser).

The average teen burned three hundred calories a minute and therefore needed to sustain themselves with all kinds of nutrients if they were to hope to stay on their feet all day – the average high school housed about a thousand teens, so the cafeteria was bound to be a busy place during lunch hours.

At one particular table, three teenagers sat enjoying their meal, the fourth absently picking bento from the hair of a particularly hyper-active, cat-like individual who, in her haste to fill her mouth, was making quite the mess.

"Mikoto," the fourth sighed, orange hair vibrant that particular morning, "I appreciate that you like my food, but maybe you could go a bit easier on the intake."

A particularly large piece of fish was removed from the girl's dark locks.

"Mai's food is great," replied Mikoto around a mouthful, "gotta eat fast. Someone might take."

A blond boy, Tate, snorted. "Yeah, right. As if anyone's gonna risk it for some bento."

"I'll have you know that my bento is some of the tastiest around!" Mai snapped, glaring at the boy who quailed and shrank beneath her wrath.

"My mistake!" He squeaked. "The wraths of hell should be braved for just a taste of the Great Chef Mai's cooking!"

"That's right," Mai said with a haughty sniff, "placate me."

"Aw, c'mon…you know that wasn't what I meant before…"

As they playfully (or maybe not so playfully, in Mai's case) fought, the final person at the table looked on at them with amused irritation.

"Morons," she said softly, affectionate, eating the tuna mayonnaise sandwiches contained in her lunch with relish. Mai had made those too, of course; somehow the orange-haired girl had a touch that gave even the simplest of dishes unearthly flavour. They were delicious and she, like Mikoto, couldn't seem to get them in her mouth fast enough, though she wasn't as messy.

"Honestly, Natsuki," Mai said, finished beating on Tate who looked like a petulant child, "you're worse than Mikoto. At least she doesn't know any better."

"Shush," Natsuki commanded, "food is for eating, not looking at or making fancy."

"Yeah," Tate agreed, "you gotta stuff it in your mouth as quick as you can, 'cause you never know when it'll be gone."

"Exactly!" Natsuki and Tate shared a high-five, temporary allies.

Mai rolled her eyes. "Honestly, it's like I'm a nagging mother to a bunch of children sometimes."

"Sometimes?" A new voice snorted. Akane sat down at the table, tray loaded with junk food. She began to pass things out to each of them, ignoring Mai's appalled expression.

"What are you doing?" The orange head cried as Tate and Natsuki cracked into a Dairy Milk. "I'm trying to make their diets healthier!"

"Pishaw," Akane said, handing some chips to Mikoto who took them eagerly, "healthy diets are for shmucks. Longevity has nothing to do with what you eat nowadays." She held up a twinkie, wriggling it temptingly in front of Mai's face. It was common knowledge that Mai's weakness was twinkies. She sighed, giving in quickly instead of attempting the usual futile battle. The wrapper being ripped off incredibly fast brought smiles to the others' faces – except Mikoto, who was wolfing down another packet of chips.

"Where'd you get all this stuff?" Natsuki managed around a mouthful of chocolate. Akane grinned at her.

"Well, Big Girl," she said, taking a Snaps bar, "it turns out that Midori sensei is quite the junk-a-holic."

"I knew it," Natsuki said, smug, "I knew her perkiness couldn't be natural."

"I think she's nice," Mai said, though through the twinkie it sounded muffled, distorted. Tate grinned.

"Finally, there's a way to shut you up!"

He regretted the words as soon as they were free from his lips, for Mai turned on him with a raging expression, picking up an empty dinner tray and beating him with it. The group laughed, even Mikoto, who had a studious dislike of Tate.

Some distance away, the group was unknowingly being watched by another group of similar number. One of them, blond, had a sever look of distaste – though it could be argued that she seemed that way all the time.

"It makes me sick, watching that," she said, sneering, gesturing to the raven-haired Natsuki at her table as she popped more chocolate into her mouth, "doesn't she think she's fat enough already, without needing to eat more?"

Haruka turned to the other people at her table, urging them to agree. "Isn't it sick? She'll just keep eating and getting fatter, with no care for her appearance – imagine what it will do for the school? We shall have to get larger uniform sizes, and who knows what else! We have a reputation to uphold, and she's ruining it with her obeisance!"

"Obesity, Haruka…" Came a quiet, regretful correction from a mousy haired girl. Yukino bit her lip, glancing at the other faces at the table. Both were drawn, silent, one that of a dark haired boy and the other of a chestnut-colour haired girl, sad red eyes on the person Haruka was talking about. Neither looked as though they agreed with the blond.

"And her friends – what's wrong with them? They should be telling her she's too fat, trying to get her to slim down. Instead they're encouraging her habits, joining in even! What kind of friends are they, letting that Kuga waddle around looking like a lump of dough?"

"Ara," a soft response came from the other girl, "perhaps they are the best kind of friends of all."

"What are you talking about, Bubuzuke?" Haruka snorted. "If I were that girl's friend, I'd be telling her to get rid of those unsightly pounds. What a disgrace!"

Shizuru looked to Yukino, who cast her eyes downwards, ashamed. Shizuru sighed, and Reito finally made to speak.

"Class shall be starting soon," he said, a calming voice to them all, "lunch is nearly over."

"Thank Kami," Haruka said, "I might have vomited if I had to watch Kuga eat for any longer. Come, Yukino!"

She stood, marching away with all the self-sufficiency of a queen. With a small, guilt-laden sigh, Yukino followed, not missing the way Shizuru's eyes lingered on Kuga's form, sad and disquieted. For a moment, Reito watched Shizuru watching Natsuki. Then he leaned forward a little.

"Are you alright, Shizuru-san?"

"It's wrong what they say about her, Reito," Shizuru replied, voice tortured but impassioned; her eyes hadn't left Natsuki, "what everyone says – Haruka especially."

"I know, Shizuru," he said, placing a comforting hand on Shizuru's arm, "but what can you or I do? Very little, perhaps even make the situation worse."

"I know that," Shizuru was whispering now, "and it's torture. It's not fair."

Reito was the only person in the world who knew Shizuru's deepest secret: she was truly, madly, deeply in love with Natsuki Kuga – or Cookie Monster Kuga, as the school's general population liked to call her. Every remark made about Natsuki cut Shizuru, perhaps deeper than the recipient herself, and also angered her, because it seemed that no one could see past the girl's weight; they couldn't see her pretty green eyes, her wonderful smile, her colourful personality, her caring heart. All they could see was her drastic difference.

"She's a beautiful girl," Shizuru cried when she told Reito of her love, a year ago, "Why can't they see it?"

Reito knew why.

Teenagers were vindictive and a lot of them insecure. By having someone in front of them with a visible fault, it was easier to pick on that person and make the cruel attention focus on them rather than their own problems. Poor Natsuki seemed to be on the receiving end of so much, and it burned Shizuru, filled her with anger and sadness whenever she caught sight of Natsuki being bullied, or the girl's tear streaked face which she hid behind a curtain of dark hair. The worst part was her inability to comfort Natsuki. All the girl saw Shizuru as was the school's president, because while they had classes together and had done for three years, Shizuru had kept her distance, sure Natsuki could not return her affections.

"She's not interested in girls," Shizuru told Reito when he asked about Shizuru's lack of action, "she would reject me – or worse, think I was pulling a trick on her."

Fear kept Shizuru away, and fear hurt her even more.

"Come," he said, using his grip on her arm to gently lift her to her feet, "we should get to class."

"I'm coming," Shizuru sighed, reluctantly tearing her eyes away from the object of her affection, who was laughing heartily at the boy, Tate, being beaten with a tray.

"What class do you have last period, Natsuki?" Mai asked, walking side-by-side with her friend down the corridor towards English class. Occasionally their arms brushed.

"Uh, history I think," Natsuki replied, fiddling with the strap of her bag.

"Okay, well, I have math, so wait for me outside school and we can walk home together," Mai offered brightly, smiling. "I have to get Mikoto from Japanese Literature, but you shouldn't have to wait for more than ten minutes."

"M'kay," Natsuki said, suddenly absent minded. Mai frowned – then followed Natsuki's gaze.

Kaichou Shizuru Fujino was walking ahead of them, long hair swishing down her back. Mai grinned at Natsuki's blatant staring.

"Well, look who it is," she said, teasing, "Natsuki's little love bird."

"Shut it, Mai!" Natsuki snapped, blushing beet red, caught out. She glared at Mai and hissed through her teeth. Mai only laughed.

"I'm kidding! Well, not really, since it's true…" Natsuki's glare intensified, and Mai backtracked. "Sorry, sorry! It's just that you look so cute all blush-red and doe-eyed…"

Natsuki turned her face away, puffing air through her nose. "Knock it off," she said, embarrassed. Her cheeks felt boiling. She was mad at herself for being so blatant in a place where anyone could have seen her stare. Only Mai knew of her infatuation with the Kaichou, and if it ever got out, she'd never live it down. She was bullied enough as it was.

"Okay…" Mai said reluctantly, hedging, "but there's no one around but us…maybe you could go ask her out."

"As if!" Natsuki had to fight to keep her voice low; Shizuru was not so far away that she wouldn't hear their conversation if they became loud, "What the hell are you thinking?"

"What?" Mai said, oblivious, "she might say yes!"

"Or she might shoot me down in flames, laughing hysterically while disgusted I even dared to ask." Natsuki stared at Mai. "Did you hit your head today? Or have you forgotten who you're talking to?"

Mai frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Someone of the likes of Shizuru would never go out with a fat lump like me," Natsuki fought to keep the quiver from her voice, "it's not funny to joke about it."

"I…Natsuki…" Mai was unsure what to say. Natsuki never showed signs of being self-conscious about her weight, even when being bullied – except when it came to Shizuru Fujino. Then, she wasn't worth anything; simply a fat lump of flesh even maggots would go out of their way to avoid.

"Besides," Natsuki was saying, "I'd never do that to her. Imagine the embarrassment she'd face, being asked out by me, Cookie Monster Kuga. I can't imagine what that would do to her _or _her reputation."

Mai was at a complete loss for words. It mattered little, because they had reached English class, Shizuru already inside, and Mai and Natsuki sat at different ends of the room. For once, the orange haired girl paid little attention to the class which fascinated her as much as cooking, doodling idly in the corners of her note book, thinking about the lost look that had taken hold of Natsuki's eyes when she spoke earlier, and how long it had been since she last saw it.


	2. Natsuki: Issues

**Whoa! Fatsuki is a hit! **

**That's really great, guys. Man. I was overwhelmed by the response for this…really, considering it was just a tacky little prologue upon which I tested the waters (imho). Thank you all! I'm glad there are still Shiznatters out there. Chibi Fatsukis for you all to cuddle! **

**One thing: I've purposely left Fatsuki's size vague, so you can imagine her as fat as you dare/daren't. And also, sorry about any mistakes. Spell check and re-reads can only do so much, you know?**

**Review? **

"_Momma's gone away, Nat-chan. We don't know when she'll be back."_

A box of thin-mint cookies found its way into young Natsuki's little hands, biscuit after biscuit going into her mouth. Chew, swallow, chew, swallow, chew, and swallow. Natsuki ate until the hurt in her chest went away, and by that time, she'd gone through five boxes.

"_I can't play with you right now, Nat-chan. Daddy's busy."_

Willie Wonka's special snap-crackle-and-pop chocolate bars tasted the best when she was lonely; at first she hid the many wrappers beneath her bed so her father couldn't find them, until she realised he didn't care to look.

"_Tell me about your day at school later, Natsuki. Daddy's got things to do."_

An extra-large sized bag of cheese puffs tasted better than any hollow victory a certificate for good behaviour garnered, simply because there was no one at home interested enough to care about it.

"_What did you say? I wasn't listening."_

Double chocolate milkshakes replaced orange squash as her favourite drink and washed down a Chucky Cheese meal better. For a while, the tasty satisfaction left on her tongue got rid of that horrid empty feeling that was always inside her; then it came back, and she replenished her supply of chocolate milk.

Natsuki didn't notice how she was changing until the children at school began calling her names. She'd never had any friends, not really, but that hadn't bothered her because the other children left her alone.

She'd once been invisible and happy that way, always a lone wolf (and secretly too shy to approach someone she liked but her mother said that was okay, because she had years ahead of her to make friends and people would soon see how nice Natsuki was _liarliarliarliar_), but suddenly everybody saw her.

"_Hey, fatty!" _They would jeer and laugh. _"Who ate all the pies?"_

From there, it only got worse as children learned of crueller, "funnier" things to call her.

"_There goes the Umpa-Lumpa!" _They would yell as she walked by. _"Better watch out in case she steals your lunch!"_

"_It's a Yeti!" _Others would say, _"A whale walking on two legs!"_

Everybody laughed. It was fun to laugh at Fatsuki – that was the name she hated the most – and having no friends or anyone to defend her became abruptly unbearable.

It seemed like one day she'd been a normal, quiet girl with a happy little family and then the next her mother was gone, her father following in mind but not body, and her uniform wasn't fitting anymore. Shirts were too small, pants and skirts refusing to budge over her hips.

She couldn't squeeze into her school clothes and therefore had to wear things – her own clothes – that would fit, resulting in frequent trips to the principal's office regarding her 'outlandish behaviour' and her 'rebelling nature'.

She introverted, good grades slipping as she began to cut classes, holing up in her room, tired of the taunts. The more kids laughed at her, the more she hurt inside and the more she hurt inside, the more she ate. It was a vicious cycle that she felt trapped in, ironically unable to comfort herself with anything other than the cause of her torment.

All the while, as her size grew and her happiness shrank, her father never noticed, so lost in his own melancholic world that he couldn't see the state his daughter was in and what his blatant neglect – and ultimately what her mother's abandonment – was doing to her.

But the teachers did.

Observation and gentle, unsuspecting questioning for a few months gave them enough cause to call child services with their suspicions.

One day, Natsuki came home to find strange men in her house and her father sitting on the couch, head in his hands as they told him he'd been a terrible, neglectful parent letting his daughter become obese. The words cut Natsuki's heart – _obese _– and so had the look her father had given her when she entered the room, as though he was seeing her for the first time…and didn't like what he saw.

Declared an unfit parent and diagnosed with chronic depression, he lost custody of his only child and was told to get help, Natsuki being placed in the care of a loving pair of grandparents she never knew she had living somewhere far away called Fuuka. Her father was told that once he fixed himself up and made himself a better, suitable parent for Natsuki, he could reapply for custody.

He never did.

Natsuki settled well in her grandparents' home. They were delighted to care for their granddaughter – on her mother's side, Natsuki was told, the scorn in their voice for what their own daughter had done and desire to make up for it apparent even to her – and were gentle with her about her weight.

"_It's not your fault, Nat-chan," _they would say, _"but you don't have to eat that way anymore."_

Their words rang true, because now she had no reason to keep eating the way she had been.

Her grandparents doted on her, affectionate and caring. They took interest in her, paid attention to her, and did all the things she had wanted from her father. But it had come too late, the damage already done from her father's neglect and constant bullying at school.

She had no confidence, what little she'd possessed before the weight gain scared away by name-calling and jeering. She couldn't make friends at the new school she'd transferred to, Fuuka High, because she was certain of rejection and afraid of confrontation, wanting to avoid it at all costs knowing it would only turn out worse for her.

The combination of being the new girl and being overweight meant that there was no way she could escape bullying, and she ended up breaking the promise made to her grandparents before the transfer: that she wouldn't skip class.

They tried their best to coax her into losing the weight, to stop the unnecessary comfort eating, knowing it would do her the world of good. They emptied the house of everything even the slightest bit unhealthy and cooked only the most nutritious and beneficial – if sometimes bland – dinners in a desperate attempt to fix Natsuki's diet, pushing her to exercise, even going as far as to buy her a bicycle.

But she found other ways to get the comfort food she needed, using her lunch money and allowance to get junk food from nearby shops and sneaking it under her bed, sometimes even creeping out at night to get some chips or soda or chocolate – and the bicycle remained in the garden, unused except for when she made the trip to the shop.

In the end, her grandparents gave up, because the secrecy of having to sneak around to feel better was upsetting Natsuki and they could see it. It saddened them to think the only thing that seemed to make their granddaughter happy was junk food, but they decided to support her because it seemed to be what she needed.

Natsuki remained in her vicious cycle.

She wanted to lose weight; there was no doubt about that. But it was _so hard._ She couldn't deny her body's want for food that filled her mouth with taste, the sugary bites and savoury snacks that took the hurt away.

She loved her grandparents and felt rotten about disappointing them, despite their insistence that she hadn't. She loved them for trying and for accepting her and at the same time, hated herself for making them _have _to accept her.

That hate drove her to seek out more food, and thus the cycle continued.

She felt alone in the world, isolated, disgusted by herself but unable to do anything about it.

Friendless, she tried to take the taunting in her stride as much as she could, disappearing from school grounds during lunch hours to eat her meal somewhere that she wouldn't be laughed at for it.

The last time she'd entered the cafeteria one girl screamed that a giant had barged its way in and was going to eat them all, while another yelled for their friends to eat their food as quick as possible before Fatsuki attacked them for it. The student body's laughter had echoed in her mind for hours and she hadn't gone to the cafeteria since.

Then Mai Tokiha came.

Mai was new, different, and single. She was fascinating, fresh meat, and the talk of the school. Boys and girls alike wanted her number, wanted to know about her and, more importantly, wanted to be with her.

Natsuki held no opinion. The new girl had yet to make fun and call her names – the latest one on the circuit being Mrs Blobby – and as long as it stayed that way, she could care less.

It didn't stay that way.

One morning Natsuki had been walking to class, head down, books in her arms, ignoring the shouts of "earthquake!" from people she passed, when she bumped into something orange. Her books careened from her arms and clattered to the ground. People laughed; she cringed, ignored them, covered her face with her hair and gingerly bent down to pick the books up, thinking someone had decided to get physical with their taunting and crashed into her on purpose.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Someone said, startling her, "I didn't see you!"

In her mind, Natsuki snorted. _Yeah, right. Because I'm a complete waif, totally miss-able._

She kept silent, ignoring the person, until extra hands appeared in her vision and gathered her books.

"Here," the person said, offering them to her.

Natsuki chanced a look; it was the new girl, kind violet eyes, big smile. She felt nervous; _when was the joke coming?_

"Watch it, Tokiha!" A boy called from somewhere, trying to be 'helpful', "Cookie Monster Kuga might chew your arm off!"

_There it was_.

Natsuki waited for the laugh, for the smile on Tokiha's face to become a sneer.

It did, but it wasn't directed at her.

Orange hair whipped about, the new girl locking eyes with the 'joker' in the crowd. Natsuki idly noted the girl's fingers clenched hard around her books.

"Shut your mouth!" She snapped. A shocked gasp rang through the number of students who had hung around to watch, clearly wanting to see the new girl lay into _Fatsuki_.

Natsuki stared.

"Wh-what are you…" She managed quietly, cheeks flushing red. She forced words from her throat. "You sh-shouldn't…"

"Shouldn't what?" The girl said. Their eyes met again, and that smile was back. Natsuki's chest ached. If this was a joke, it was a cruel one.

"St-stick up for me." _If that's what you're doing_. Natsuki cursed herself for stuttering so much. "Th-they'll make fun of you, too."

The smile remained. "So?" She put the books in Natsuki's unresponsive arms. "I'll see you around." She stood, smiled at Natsuki, ignoring the stares she was now getting. "I'm Mai, by the way."

Then she strode away, whispers following her as she went.

The rest of the day passed as a blur to Natsuki. Part of her thought she had imagined it; someone being nice to her? Impossible. When school came to an end, she decided that she had indeed hallucinated, though her wrinkled text books said otherwise.

It was only when she was exiting the school gates that her theory was truly dashed.

Mai was there, leaning against a tree.

Waiting for _her_.

Natsuki ignored the girl at first, head down, deciding to hurry home.

A tug on her sleeve made that impossible to continue, however.

She looked up. Mai was grinning at her.

"Hi," the orange haired girl said, "mind if I walk home with you?"

"Um…" Natsuki was unsure what to say. She felt awkward. No one had ever asked to walk home with her before.

"I'll take that as a yes." Blinking at the girl – Mai's – initiative, Natsuki was powerless to stop her.

"So," Mai said as they walked. Natsuki had hampered on being quiet the whole time. "What's your name?"

Natsuki stared at Mai. _Really? _

"I have…a lot of names," she said reluctantly, "most of which you've probably heard."

Mai waved that sentence away. "I'm not interested in those. I want to hear your _given _name."

Natsuki was somewhat hesitant to give it away. Her name was that alone – _hers. _It was something only she owned that no one could take away. They could tarnish it and give her new ones, but her true name belonged to her alone.

"…Natsuki," she eventually decided to humour the girl.

Mai smiled, wide and bright. "Great! That's a nice name."

"It…it means summer child." Natsuki wasn't sure why she told Mai that. Maybe it was to get rid of the weird, warm feeling in her chest when the orange head told her that the name was nice.

"Really?" Mai seemed interested. Natsuki couldn't fathom why. When was she going to start hurling abuse? "Do you like summer?"

"N-not really…"

"You're more of a winter girl, huh? Me, too. I just love snow!"

Natsuki's walk slowed to a stop. She was frowning now, the bashful and confused pink hue on her cheeks fading as a little bit of anger spread through her system. "Why are you walking with me?" She asked.

Mai stopped too, her expression changing to match Natsuki's. "I thought that was obvious," she said, biting her lip when Natsuki didn't seem to get the hint. She suddenly looked shy; Natsuki blinked in surprise. _This girl! _"I want to be friends."

"Oh."

Unsure what to say, Natsuki was now positive it was a trick of some kind. No one wanted to be her friend. No one wanted Natsuki. Not even her own parents. The girl kept talking.

"I understand it might be a bit short notice and all, considering we only really just met today, but you seem like a really nice person and I was just kind of hoping we could be friends. If you don't want to that's okay, but…"

She trailed off and, despite herself, Natsuki felt a small thrill of hope travel through her.

_Maybe she really means it. But…why?_

"O-okay," she found herself saying. Her blush was back full force, and she quickly ducked behind her curtain of hair. Mai gave a happy giggle, smile returning full voltage. It was almost painful to look at.

"Great! It's going to be so much fun having you around, Natsuki! I can tell!" She was saying. They came to the intersection in streets; Natsuki had to turn left, Mai the opposite. "My house is this way, so I guess we part here," she said, waving as she walked off. "I'll introduce you to the rest of my friends tomorrow, so come by the cafeteria in the morning, okay? See you!"

Natsuki didn't reply as the girl's form slowly vanished.

A lump had come to her throat.

The cafeteria? She wasn't going in there. She'd made a vow. It was the worst place for someone like her to be. She deflated. She wasn't going to meet Mai's other friends after all. But perhaps that was for the better. Mai might not have laughed at her, but they certainly would.

Still, the entire night, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about it.

The next day, her body made the decision for her. Her feet carried her into the cafeteria when she reached school; she ignored the theatrical gasps and displays of people hiding their morning snacks away from her as she passed. Violet eyes caught hers from a distance and an enthusiastic wave began.

"Natsuki!" Mai was calling. "Over here!"

She felt a little out of sorts…and nervous. So very nervous. Self-conscious, she tugged at her shirt and willed it to reach further below her waist, cursing the warm day and her decision to leave her baggy hoodie at home. She approached the table slowly, biting her lip and fighting a blush as four new people and one familiar looked at her.

It was a struggle to say something; Mai watched her expectantly and she managed to croak a small "hi" before looking at the ground and fiddling with the strap of her bag. She waited for the ridicule. It never came.

"Oh, how cute!" A declaration was announced instead. Natsuki's head snapped up to find a brunette with pale eyes looking at her with a smile. It was so unexpected that she was left speechless. "Look how shy she is!" The girl cooed, steepling her fingers. "Don't worry, honey. We're just a bunch of freaks, but we don't bite!"

"Who're you calling a freak?" A blond haired boy snapped, glaring at the girl. She laughed at him.

"You, ya big loaf head!"

He scowled at her and sniffed, looking away. Mai laughed. Next to her, Natsuki noticed, was a small girl with dark hair and weird, cat-like eyes that were watching the newcomer with interest.

"Who's this, Mai?" She asked. Mai ruffled her head.

"This is Natsuki, guys. The one I told you about yesterday."

_They know me already, _thought Natsuki, _everybody knows Cookie Monster Kuga._

"Hiya, Natsuki!" Said the brunette brightly, "I'm Akane!" She waved; Natsuki couldn't help it, she smiled a little.

"I'm Tate," said the boy, "and I'm _not _a freak like Akane." He looked petulant, crossing his arms.

"Sure you are," replied Akane, light hearted, "you're hanging around with me, aren't you? That makes you a freak."

They began to argue lightly, while the cat-girl deigned to introduce herself.

"I'm Mikoto!" She said happily, looking Natsuki over. "Are you Mai's friend?"

Natsuki looked at Mai, who was watching with a small smile. She found herself returning it.

"Y-yeah," she said, watching that smile grow. "I am."

"Then you're my friend, too!" Mikoto declared.

Akane grinned, holding Tate in a headlock and running her knuckles over his head. "Mine, too."

"And mine," Tate managed to get out, struggling futilely to escape.

Mai patted the empty seat next to her. "Sit down, Natsuki."

And just like that, she was accepted.

Natsuki's heart swelled.

That had been the best day of her life.

Gradually she began to relax around them; they were a quirky bunch, to be sure, but from that day onwards she was one of them and so they treated her as such.

They were each outcasts in their own right, Natsuki learned. Akane – selective bipolar, many afraid to approach her. Tate – had something of a violent tendency, banned from Kendo after he attacked an opponent for a foul move during a match. Mikoto – had the mental age and capacity of someone much younger than her fourteen years and thus often found it difficult to communicate to her peers. Mai – recently delegated to an outcast, simply for those she chose to be friends with.

Natsuki learned that Mai knew them because she was in Tate's cooking class and, Tate being terrible at anything that wasn't beating people with a stick, couldn't cook to save his life. Fortunately for him, Mai could, and while no one else even wanted to approach him for fear of his 'violence', Mai had no problem. Natsuki was also privy to know that Mai had a bit of crush on Tate and knew the rumours about him were exaggerated.

Through Tate Mai met Akane and Mikoto, both of whom she'd earned the devotion of with promises of home cooked lunches every day. Akane was glad to have someone new around, and Mikoto was over the moon that someone was making her fantastic food to eat every single day.

They received their own share of taunting in effect, but Natsuki marvelled at their ways of brushing it aside.

And when they defended Natsuki, yelling and throwing books at any who dared make fun of her while in their presence, Natsuki felt…good.

She belonged somewhere, even if it was to a group of oddballs. But she couldn't be happier.

They didn't care about her weight – she had Mai making her lunches and handing them to her in the mornings, like Akane and Mikoto and Tate (she'd been hesitant at first, but Mai had assured her she wanted to do it and that it wasn't hard to make some mayonnaise sandwiches) and Akane and sometimes Tate bringing them junk food to share (despite Mai's nagging that they_ all_ should eat healthier). They never made fun (and if they did it was playful and affectionate, like Akane's nick name for her) and she was included in everything they did.

School became bearable with Natsuki's first friends and eventually she became completely comfortable around them.

It was also through them that Natsuki met Shizuru Fujino.

Along with Natsuki's first friends came Natsuki's first crush; she'd known in her heart the world wasn't going to let her get away with that little bit of happiness without wanting some fun in return.

Shizuru Fujino was a popular girl – some argued the most popular girl in the entire school – and the Student Council president. However, this did not exempt her from taking classes with the rest of the student body.

She sat a couple of classes the same as Natsuki. The girl had never noticed before, often skipping but when she did attend, she kept her head down, sitting at the back of the room, dodging insults and projectiles that students sometimes threw her way.

But Mai and her friends had given Natsuki a little of her confidence back, and it helped that Mai was in the same classes, too. The orange haired girl joined her friend at the back of the room and inspired her to pay attention, glaring like a she-devil at anyone who tried slandering either of them.

This, in turn, caused Natsuki to notice Shizuru.

The first thing that caught her eye was Shizuru's hair colour. A sandy blondish, her hair was long and sleek. The first inkling of Natsuki's crush was the odd desire she had to run her fingers through that hair.

Then it was the way she looked from behind, being that Natsuki could only see Shizuru from that angle – except when she was called upon to write an answer on the teacher's board, upon which Natsuki would silently study with contained awe the beauty that was Fujino Shizuru _gosh, were those __**red **__eyes?_

Shizuru's lilting Kyoto-ben captured her ears next. She relished moments when a delicate, pale hand would raise into the air in response to a teacher's question and her voice would come out. Natsuki was sure she could listen to that forever.

Of course, she kept her growing 'obsession' to herself. Whenever it even looked as though Shizuru was turning her head in Natsuki's direction, the dark haired girl would assume 'quiet disinterested loner' stance and stare at her desk, curtain of raven coloured tresses protecting her face from view. She knew that Shizuru was not looking at her – _Shizuru would never look at me –_ but nonetheless it was better to be cautious.

Shizuru's was a name on many people's tongues. Boys spoke of her beauty and girls of her success and character. Many asked her on dates, always declined but with the aloof, polite manner that forever surrounded the Kaichou. The rumour on the mill said it was because she was set to be married upon leaving school, as she came from a rich family and was bound to be in an arranged marriage.

Another was that she was dating Reito Kanzaki, the school's vice president. They were always together, after all, and looked to be very close.

It clenched Natsuki's heart to hear, but she berated herself for it.

_So what if she is? What does it matter? It's none of your business and she's way out of your league. She probably doesn't even like girls and if she did, she'd never like _you.

Sometimes, she wasn't as careful with her watching as she thought. That was how Mai found out about her…situation.

They were leaving English one afternoon, Natsuki watching Shizuru gracefully sashay away down the corridor, when an elbow came dug its way into her side playfully.

"Natsuki's got a crush," Mai sang.

Natsuki's first instinct was to deny it, heart racing, horrified. If people knew...

"N-no I haven't," she hissed between her teeth. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"There's no use trying to deny it to me, Natsuki," Mai replied, sly, smiling, "I've seen the way you watch her in class, how the only thing you have ears for lately is Kaichou-sama, how-"

"Knock it off!" Natsuki found the courage to snap. She clamped a hand over Mai's mouth; the girl looked far too pleased for her own good.

"So it's true!" She said around Natsuki's hand. Natsuki glared at her and loosened her grip.

"Shush! People might hear."

Mai looked around at the deserted corridor with a puzzled frown. "There's no one here."

"Just…!" Natsuki was imploring Mai, unaware of how dazzling her green eyes looked right then.

"Okay," Mai relented, but smiled. "We'll talk about it later, at your house."

She slinked away, grinning, and Natsuki groaned. Mai would hold her to that, no doubt.

She thought about telling her grandparents not to let Mai in if the girl came knocking, but there would be no point. They loved Mai; Natsuki's first friend, a true friend, she was always welcome in their household.

So Natsuki walked home alone that afternoon, ignoring the world with her iPod blaring, thinking about what she was going to say to Mai and vice versa.

It turned out she didn't have to worry much.

"_So_," Mai said when they were in Natsuki's room, "how long?"

"How long what?" She frowned in reply. Mai slapped her arm playfully.

"Come on. You know what I'm talking about. How long?"

"Ah…" Natsuki averted her eyes, face scarlet. "A…a little while now."

Mai answered with a delighted laugh.

"How romantic!" Natsuki snorted. Mai paid no attention. "You didn't tell me you were gay, Natsuki."

"I…didn't really know until…"

"You saw Kaichou-sama?"

"Y-yeah…"

Honestly, Natsuki hadn't given it much thought. As far as she was concerned, it was a crush that would never happen, and just something else that set her apart from everyone else. All Hell would break loose if others found out – she could hear it now, _Fatsuki is a carpet muncher! _- but Mai didn't seem to care that her friend was gay. All she did was gush.

"You can't tell anyone," Natsuki interrupted, serious, desperate. "Ever. This stays between us."

"But…" Mai frowned, her lower lip jutting out a little. "Aren't you…going to ask Kaichou-sama out?"

Natsuki stared at her as though she had grown another head. "Are you insane?"

"But-"

"There are so many things wrong with what you just said." Eyes averted, Natsuki chewed on her lower lip. "First: I'm the fattest girl in school. The laughing stock. She's the Kaichou. The most popular. What are my chances?"

"Natsuki-"

"Second: if, _somehow_, by some miracle of God the previous stuff didn't matter, she's dating that Kanzaki guy. Which means, she doesn't like girls, and she's not available." It was all spilling out now. "Third: even if she _was _available and _did _like girls, there is no way in Hell she'd go for someone like me."

Mai was quiet. Natsuki looked at her, eyes intense.

"I don't want to talk about this. We're not going to talk about it again. Okay?"

"O…okay…"

"And don't tell anyone else. Got it?"

"I-I won't…"

"Good."

The topic was taboo for a while. Mai would watch Natsuki watch Shizuru and say nothing. But as time went on, she began to notice things that Natsuki didn't. Like how Shizuru sometimes watched Natsuki, too.

Occasionally, Mai would check in with Natsuki for updates – the girl still felt the same, but now was exceptional at hiding it. It saddened Mai to think she was part of the reason. She tried to lighten things up, only mentioning the crush when they were alone together and gently teasing. That was how she discovered it had become infatuation.

_"I'd never do that to her. Imagine the embarrassment she'd face, being asked out by me, Cookie Monster Kuga. I can't imagine what that would do to her __or __her reputation_."

Natsuki hadn't mentioned that before. All she'd talked about were the reasons why it would never happen. Now she was talking about why it _shouldn't_.

Mai was starting to think she wasn't as observant as she believed, and as she sat in English that afternoon, Natsuki's words ringing in her mind, maybe she hadn't been as good a friend, either.

When class ended, she caught up with Natsuki again, but the dark haired girl refused to say anything more about their previous conversation. From the corner of her eye, Mai saw Shizuru head off towards where Reito Kanzaki was waiting for her, but not before she cast a look over her shoulder at Natsuki who was studiously looking elsewhere. Mai thought those red eyes looked sad…and full of longing. But then, how could she possibly know?"

"Do you want to come to my house after school today?" Mai asked, shouldering her bag. "Mikoto will be there, too." It was somewhat redundant of her to say – Mikoto had seemingly devoted herself to Mai after discovering how great of a cook she was, and was almost always with her. Mikoto was an easy girl to please.

"I dunno," Natsuki said, "I have homework…"

"So do I," Mai reminded her. "We can do it together." She was anxious to make up for forcing Natsuki's newest confession, even though she'd only been teasing and had no idea Natsuki was going to say such a thing.

"Hmm…"

"There'll be mayonnaise," Mai hedged with a sly smile. It became a grin when Natsuki's lips finally quirked upwards.

"How can I say no to an offer like that?" She said. That look in her eyes seemed to lift somewhat, and that pleased Mai.

"Great! Remember, wait for us outside school. We won't take long."

"Okay."

They went their separate ways, Mai to math and Natsuki to history. There, she sat and absently scribbled nonsense on paper, silly drawings and random lines, while she thought of what Mai said.

"_There's no one here but us…maybe you could ask her out."_

_Why did she have to say that? _Natsuki thought, flushing with a little bit of anger. _I thought we talked about this._

"Kuga-san?" Natsuki's head shot up. The teacher was addressing her. "Were you listening just now?"

"Um…"

"Ha!" A boy laughed, "She was probably daydreaming about what's in her fridge!"

Students laughed; Natsuki scowled at the desk, cheeks burning with shame and anger. The teacher frowned.

"Enough, Kenta-san," he said. He turned to Natsuki, eyes a little sympathetic. "Please pay attention in my class, Kuga-san."

"Y-yes, sir."

Class continued with Natsuki pretending to pay attention to the teacher and ignoring the nasty snickers she kept hearing behind her. She had never been so glad to see the end of the subject she actually enjoyed.

She rushed from the class, grip tight on her books.

"Look at her run!" She heard the jeer from Kenta. "She must be hungry!"

He was following her, and so were some of his friends, it seemed. _Sorry, Mai, _she thought, _guess I'm not going to be waiting for you today._

Nagata Kenta had never liked her, and was always vivacious with his taunting. Quite the bully, he picked on many students, but none as much as Natsuki. And he was feeling rowdy, not about to let an hour or so of fun get away from him.

They blocked her off at the back exit of school. Two of his jockey friends barred the door, the rest surrounding her. She kept her head down, even as Kenta laughed, stepped forward, and smacked her books from her arms and knocked them to the floor.

"Where are you going in such a hurry, fatty?" He said. "McDonalds doesn't close for a good few hours yet."

He and his friends laughed. Natsuki said nothing.

"Is that a new uniform?" He leered. "I heard council member Suzushiro talking about how the school had to get bigger sizes, all for you. Doesn't that make you feel special?"

Still, Natsuki was quiet, eyes on the ground. Her heart raced.

"Personally, I thought it would have been cheaper if she'd just ordered in some tents for you to wear."

More laughter. Natsuki shut her eyes.

"Ara," a new voice suddenly said, "what is this?"

"K-Kaichou-sama…"

Natsuki's eyes snapped open. Between Kenta and one of his friend's bodies, she could see the outline of Fujino Shizuru. She could not see her face, but if she could she would have seen the usual aloof expression, but red eyes hardened in anger. Her heart skipped a beat.

_Shizuru…_

"Bullying, in Fuuka High? Surely this school is above such juvenile behaviour?" She was saying. Natsuki could see Kenta's face, however. He looked a distinct mix of rightful arrogance and sorry that he'd been caught.

"School hours are over," he said lamely, in his own defence. Natsuki would have snorted were she not dead set on remaining silent.

"They are, you are correct," Shizuru said and Natsuki felt her heart sink, "but alas, you still remain on school property and therefore will face the consequences of breaking the rules and exhibiting such vindictive behaviour.

"And, _ara_," Natsuki thought she sounded angry now, but quickly decided she was imagining it. "Five of you, surrounding one girl? That is hardly fair, is it?"

"Have you _seen _her?" Kenta snorted. "She counts as about six people on her own!"

His friends laughed. Shizuru didn't.

"I think it is time you and your friends left Miss Kuga alone and went on your way." Her voice was like ice. An unnoticeable shiver went through Natsuki.

"You can't tell me what to do," Kenta sneered, "not now. Outside of school you're just another girl."

"Perhaps I cannot, but I _can_ see to it that Kenta-san's parents discover a copy of their son's criminal record in their mail in the next few days."

"No, you can't," Kenta said, confident, but Natsuki noticed he had paled a little. "That's police property. You can't touch that."

"It is police property and also school property," Shizuru said, "so I assure you that I can indeed touch it. I will repeat myself once more: I think it is time Kenta-san and his friends went on their way."

Kenta's face was an ugly purple, expression raged. For a moment, Natsuki feared he would go for the Kaichou _what are you doing, Shizuru? I'm not worth it! _But then it cleared, and he jerked his head at his friends.

"Fine. Protect the fatso. Whatever. Like I care." He stalked off, friends following, shooting Natsuki filthy looks that promised they'd finish it another day.

She let out a breath, eyes darting to Shizuru then away again. Quickly, she bent down to pick up her books, feeling the weight of a stare on her. She couldn't bring herself to meet it, face flaming.

"I hope Kuga-san is not hurt," the lilting Kyoto-ben suddenly sounded closer; Natsuki's heart leapt from her chest – Shizuru was helping her pick up her books. "I am unsure if I reached you in time."

_She's talking to me…_

Natsuki dared raise her eyes. Green clashed with red, and she flinched and shot her gaze back to the ground.

_She's looking at me…_

Her head felt like it was going to explode.

_She spoke to you, moron! And she just saved your ass! _The voice in her head yelled, _Answer her!_

"U-um," there was a lump in her throat. She forced it down, pushing words from her mouth, refusing to lock eyes with the fair haired temptress. "N-no…I'm n-not. Th-thank you, K-Kaichou-s-sama…"

She was aware she sounded like a stuttering idiot. A chime-like chuckle floated into her ears, soft and warm.

"I'm glad."

She sounded serious. Natsuki thought that she must be dreaming; maybe she fell asleep in history and this was all in her head. Shizuru Fujino, looking at her, talking to her, defending her from those bullies, glad she was okay. Or maybe she fell over at some point and hit her head. Or maybe she had a heart attack and died.

This couldn't be real.

Books were pushed into her arms. Natsuki found herself staring at slender, pale and delicate fingers, one digit covering half the kanji of her name on the front of her history book. She accepted them, feeling soft and warm skin brush across her hands.

_Heavenly…_

"Whereabouts does Kuga-san live?" Shizuru was asking. It took a moment for Natsuki to register the question.

"S-sorry?" She said, confused. She raised her head to look at Shizuru; blood red eyes trapped her there, warm.

"I was wondering where Kuga-san lives," she said, "close by?"

"Uh…" Natsuki struggled to articulate thought. "K-kind of…"

Shizuru smiled. Natsuki nearly dropped her books.

"Would Kuga-san care for a lift home?"


	3. Maybe

**It's a long time coming because for some reason I really struggled with this chapter, even though I knew where I wanted it to go. But I digress. To my reviewers who are beautiful people: Thank you! And to aznfan – that made me laugh so much, thanks! Also, I want to ask: how many of you are in the UK? Shout out to my peeps. **

**Review? **

Natsuki lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling in some kind of daze. If the world crashed and burned around her at this point, she wouldn't notice. All she could focus on were two things: a melodic voice that resonated into the very recesses of her soul, and the light smell of lavender and jasmine perfume that clung to her clothes.

Absently, like clockwork as she had been doing every few minutes, she lifted an arm and gave the fabric of her sweater a sniff. It smelled the strongest of that sweet scent, because before she exited Shizuru's car to go home, the girl had laid a delicate hand on her with that calm smile and said: _"I'll see you at school tomorrow."_

_Shizuru…_

Natsuki felt a tender mix of bedazzled and stupid. _They're just words_, her rational side was arguing, banging loudly on the walls of the box she'd shoved it in while the other side of her danced and howled at the moon in pleasure.

_Just words._

But they had made Natsuki so very happy. _I'm so pathetic…_ she thought in a laden lament. It would have been too easy for her to slip into her usual depressive emotion when thinking about Shizuru.

_Of course she will see you at school tomorrow, _said that dark little gremlin that always gave her insides a spiteful twist when it seemed she felt happy, _everybody sees Fatsuki, she's impossible to miss!_

Valiantly she beat him away and refused to listen to his claims that it meant nothing, that Shizuru was just being friendly. Of course Natsuki knew that; it was in Shizuru's nature to be kind to everyone. It was just another thing that made her so amazing.

But for a little while, Natsuki pretended they were really meant for her and were special words; that Shizuru would be looking out for her tomorrow. That Shizuru was thinking about her. This combined with the time she'd spent in Shizuru's car _she drove me home personally! _were enough to put her in the best mood she'd been in for weeks.

When her phone buzzed in her pocket, she pulled it out and scanned the screen. Suddenly she remembered something, and guilt crept in around her edges, trying to cram its way through the barriers of her euphoria. Mai.

_Where r u?_ said the text Natsuki opened and she bit down on her bottom lip in remembrance. She was supposed to walk home with Mai but in the excitement of Shizuru offering her a lift, she'd forgotten.

Foregoing a text back, she simply pressed call and waited for her busty orange haired friend to answer, hoping she would forgive her for forgetting.

"Natsuki!" Mai answered. From her voice alone, Natsuki could not tell if she was angry or not. "Where are you? Mikoto and I have been waiting for a long time."

"Sorry, Mai…I'm…uh…at home," she answered truthfully with that guilt bleeding into her tone. She doubted Mai could pick it up through the phone reception however.

"What? But I thought we were going to walk home together."

"I…got a lift from someone…" Natsuki decided not to elaborate, because if she knew Mai like she did…

"Really? From who?"

"…Shizuru."

There was a moment of dead silence, and Natsuki oddly found herself holding her breath to while she waited for Mai's reply. She had no idea what to expect; something along the lines of _are you kidding? _Because she knew that were their roles reversed, she would probably have difficulty believing it, too.

"Oh my gosh! Don't go anywhere, I'm coming over! I want details!" Surprised, Natsuki gave a short bout of laughter at Mai's sudden outburst. She sounded so energetic and _happy_ at this news. "Mikoto, get up, we're going to see Natsuki!"

"We are? Hurray!" Mikoto could be heard in the background. Natsuki smiled; it was nice having someone looking forward to seeing her. Add that on to how she felt about what happened today, she was on top of the world.

She put down the phone and slid off her bed, going halfway down the staircase to warn her grandmother in the kitchen that she had friends coming over.

"Who is it, dear?" Asked the kind old lady with a tender smile that was so like Natsuki's mother's but at the same time so different.

"Just Mai and Mikoto," Natsuki answered and her grandmother gave a pleased hum.

"That Mai is a wonderful cook. Do you think I could persuade her to help me with the dinner tonight?"

"There'd be no persuading about it," Natsuki laughed, "Mai would be happy to help."

"It's good to hear you laugh, Nat-chan," Natsuki's grandfather chimed in as he appeared in the hall. "It's been a while since I last heard it."

Natsuki grinned at her grandparents. "I've had a pretty good day." The elderly folk shared a smile as their granddaughter bounded back up the stairs with a spirit they had not seen in a long time.

She flopped back on her bed and busied herself with thoughts of Shizuru until she heard the chime of a door bell and a loud "hello Natsuki's baa-chan!" coming from Mikoto, followed by a brief apology from Mai as her two friends thundered up the stairs.

She counted to three in her head, and then her bedroom door flew open and Mikoto's vibrant presence made itself known. "Hi Natsuki!" She yelled and leapt on the bed – consequently on Natsuki herself. The girl's braids brushed Natsuki's nose and she laughed, tickling Mikoto and making her squeal happily.

Mai watched the two playfully wrestle from the doorway with a smile before deciding to make them aware she was standing there. "You're in a good mood, Natsuki," she said fondly. Natsuki sat up and smiled at her fondly, Mikoto balled in her lap.

"I guess I just feel better than usual," she said simply, divulging nothing. Mai's grin became knowing.

"And a certain Fujino-Kaichou-san wouldn't have anything to do with it, hm"? She said, watching Natsuki's blush bloom like a flower in spring.

"Ah…look, it wasn't anything, okay? She just gave me a ride home, that's all." Natsuki cleared her throat awkwardly and shifted Mikoto's weight when bony elbows dug into her soft flesh. Mai was making her feel embarrassed about being so pleased with a simple car ride and fifteen minutes in Shizuru's company.

"Well, sure," Mai conceded, "but I want to know about it!" Mai leapt on Natsuki's bed, jostling the three of them and making a racket before she settled comfortably. From Natsuki's lap, Mikoto reached out to tug on Mai's hands and absently play with the girl's long fingers. "So…" when Natsuki remained unresponsive, Mai poked her in the side. "What happened? Did she approach you romantically, with doe eyes and a cute smile–"

"No!" Natsuki interrupted; her blush now a furious scarlet colour. Mai giggled into her hand. Mikoto seemed to be paying no attention to the conversation whatsoever, because it was nothing she was interested in. She'd perk up if they started talking about food. "No, it was nothing like that."

"Then…?"

Natsuki scowled. "You're not going to leave me alone until I tell you, are you?" The dark haired girl could picture Mai following her about the place with that stupid, infuriating smile and those camomile eyes burning with the desire to _know_. Yea gods, the girl would be insatiable, and because she was the only one who knew of Natsuki's…crush…none of their other friends would get it, and would probably be suspicious. Except Mikoto; she didn't care, nor truly understand. By the looks of things, the cat girl had fallen asleep.

Natsuki weighed it in her mind. There were the cons to telling Mai, such as the pre-mentioned stalking and the simple fact that Natsuki would have to indulge the knowledge of her…crush…more so than she already had. But then there was Mai's willingness to listen, and the fact that she was the only person Natsuki could talk to about this. Mai waited patiently, already knowing what Natsuki would choose.

"Alright," she said grudgingly, "I'll tell you."

Mai's grin was wide and _irritating._ Natsuki swiped her with a pillow to get rid of it.

"Mou, Natsuki, so mean…"

"Shut up. Do you want to hear this or not?"

"Yes!" Like an obedient student told to be silent by a teacher, Mai sat diligently staring at Natsuki expectantly with comically large eyes. Natsuki's own green orbs rolled with fond irritation; Mai looked like a puppy, and Natsuki thought if the redhead had a tail it would be wagging fiercely. She indeed complimented the cat girl sprawled in Natsuki's lap.

"Well…it started when I was coming out of history class–" She began, but then…

"What started?"

"I won't tell you if you keep interrupting," Natsuki warned, and Mai uttered a tiny apology and sat quietly. "Well…there were these…guys," Natsuki said slowly, tracing a seam along Mikoto's shirt. The girl opened her eyes to blink blearily at Natsuki and the latter wondered if Mikoto would start purring. It had happened before.

"Anyway," she shook off her hesitation, "they started saying stuff to me so I just wanted to get the hell out of there as quick as possible. But they followed me and then they were at the exit making it so I couldn't leave–"

"What? Who were these bastards?" Mai rarely swore, so it was a bit of a surprise.

"Um…I think one of them was called Kenta something," Natsuki said, blinking when Mai's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Nagata Kenta? Is that it?"

"Do you know him?"

"Yeah, unfortunately I do. He's the one who got Tate thrown off the Kendo team. And now that bastard thinks he can harass _you_?" It seemed that there was more to the story than that, but Natsuki didn't ask because from the sound of it Mai was grinding her teeth, something she did when she was intensely angry. Natsuki leaned forward and placed a calming hand on Mai's arm.

"It's okay, Mai. Shizuru threatened him and he backed off. Nothing happened."

Instantly Mai's countenance changed, anger dissipating in favour of a teasing smile. "Fujino-san swooped in and saved the day, like Prince Charming? Funny, I always envisioned you playing that part, Nat-su-ki~"

"Shut up!" Natsuki exclaimed as her cheeks pinked, averting her eyes as she blushed furiously. Mikoto was still blinking large, sleepy and somewhat confused eyes at Natsuki but seemed intent to remain silent and observe.

Mai eventually took pity on her flustered friend and grinned. "So, what happened after Fujino-san…_rescued_ you?"

"Knock it off, Mai, seriously," Natsuki said with narrow eyes.

"Okay, okay," Mai conceded, "it's just…well, y'know."

Natsuki shifted uncomfortably. Mikoto mewled and rolled onto her side, Natsuki positioning bony knees and elbows so they didn't dig into her flesh. "Well, anyway," she continued, "basically all that happened was…she…offered me a ride home 'because she was around, and I accepted."

"Is that it? There must be more to it than that…" Mai hedged desperately. _What a gossip queen_, Natsuki thought irritably; Mai's violet eyes were wide and shining, glittering in that way they did when she was trying to wheedle someone out of something.

"Not really," Natsuki said, conscious of how bad she was making herself look given the state Mai had found her in. Mai harrumphed and crossed her arms. "She was just doing what she thought was her duty as school council president, I guess."

"Fine, then," she sighed, "keep your secrets. I mean, it's not like I don't tell you everything about Tate and I, after all…"

"Ah, Mai, I'm being serious," Natsuki groaned; she _hated _it when Mai tried to guilt trip her! "That's all that really happened. Honest." _As if anything else would happen…_

"Okay." Mai accepted that, sitting cross legged and letting go of the chokehold for information she had around Natsuki's neck. _I'm starting to think Akane isn't the only bipolar one in our group_, Natsuki thought with a quirk of her lips. "So…what kind of car does Fujino-san drive? Is it a really expensive one? Did she have her own driver? Lots of rich people do, apparently."

"No, actually," Natsuki replied, "she was driving a crappy old Toyota…" Imagine Natsuki's surprise when Shizuru led her across the parking lot to a beat up old car, taking a pair of keys with a little wolf on a keychain from her bag and unlocking the thing. Natsuki had thought Shizuru would drive something more expensive, like a Bentley.

"Maybe her parents are the kind that wants their daughter to learn to get by on her own without their money," Mai said, thinking on a possible reason the rich president of the school council was driving such a car. "Not like Suzushiro-san's parents…"

The mentioned council vice president flaunted her wealth a lot, most of the time unintentionally. It was well known that her parents were quite pushy with their money and their daughter was oblivious enough to do it without reason.

Natsuki scowled at the name. "Yeah, well, some people aren't loud, annoying idiots with a lot of money and little brains."

Mai giggled. "Or maybe it's simply because Fujino-san isn't a show off."

"Yeah," Natsuki said with a bit of a dreamy smile, "she's definitely not that."

Mai's look was fond on Natsuki. "So, what did the two of you talk about?"

"Ah…not much, really." Natsuki didn't want to admit how she'd spent most of the car ride stuttering like an idiot whenever Shizuru spoke to her. She figured Mai probably already knew. "Mostly it was just about school."

"Well, that's dull," Mai sighed dramatically. She leaned forward to absently tug on one of Mikoto's braids. The girl looked at her with interest. "The gossip value's dramatically decreasing as you go…"

"Don't tell anyone what I told you, Mai," Natsuki said sharply, eyes fierce as she challenged the redhead. "No one needs the trouble, so keep it to yourself, okay?" _Besides_, she thought, _it wasn't like people would believe Mai, and they'd either think she was trying to spread a rumour or she was an idiot._

"Natsuki, you know I wouldn't–"

"I know," Natsuki interrupted, soothing Mai's hurt look. "I know you wouldn't, and I know you were just joking. But…" She thought about Kenta, the way he'd looked at Shizuru when she dared come to Natsuki's defence, and what he'd said, lumping her in with Natsuki and her "type of crowd". _Fine, protect the fatso. _His eyes and promised they'd finish what was started another day, and Natsuki hated to think of Shizuru getting dragged down into that. "I don't want to start anything."

"Alright, Natsuki, alright."

From there, the conversation ebbed away from Natsuki's ride home with the girl she was crushing on (because Mai's excitement waned when it became apparent Natsuki believed the trip to be just an act of kindness and duty on Shizuru's part; Mai decided against arguing) and ran through general topics such as school and weekend plans, then leaned more towards Mai's excitement about the Lovers' Festival coming up in a few weeks.

"I want to ask Yuichi," Mai admitted; Mikoto had long gone back to sleep by then, despite Natsuki's growing discomfort as her legs began to lose feeling. "But…I don't know if he will want to go. He's got a lot on his plate at the moment with school work and trying to get back on the Kendo team and going to his therapy sessions, so I don't want to pressure him…"

Natsuki's face was petulant. "It's a stupid festival anyway," she sniffed, "and lame that it's held on school grounds. I mean, is there any place worse?" She _definitely _wouldn't be going.

Mai giggled. "Maybe Fujino-san will swoop in for a timely rescue to save Natsuki from all the love-struck teenagers."

"Shut up!"

Natsuki's blush was fierce, and Mai was glad her friend was in good enough spirits to take it as a joke rather than lament. It had been a while since she'd seen this side of Natsuki.

"So…do you think I should ask Yuichi?" Mai ventured as her hands made little patterns on Natsuki's quilt.

"Well, if you do that pouting thing, there's no way he can say no," Natsuki replied grumpily.

"Are you saying I'm manipulative, Natsuki?" Mai asked with a dangerous smile.

"Not at all – yiiaaah!"

Mai pounced on Natsuki (and also consequently Mikoto, who woke up instantly) and the three ended up in a playful tickle fight that ended with a particularly susceptible Mai on the ground gasping for breath and screaming uncle.

"Really," Natsuki deadpanned, looking at Mai with a raised eyebrow, "I don't know _why _you start these things when you're the most ticklish out of us all."

Mikoto shook her head sadly. "Mai isn't good at choosing battles."

Mai scowled at the both of them. "Well. Maybe I'll just have to stop making the both of you lunches. _Then _we'll see who isn't good at choosing battles."

"No!" Natsuki and Mikoto yelled at the same time, scrambling about to beg desperately. "We're sorry! All hail Mai!"

Mai smirked. _Got 'em eating outta my hands…_

Mai and Mikoto ended up staying for dinner, much to Natsuki's grandparents' amusement watching Mai, the polite, well-mannered delicate eater fuss over Mikoto, who ate like a rabid dog – with the appetite to match.

They bid Natsuki good bye in the evening, reminding her that there was math homework which needed to be completed; Natsuki had grimaced, caught between the evil grin on Mai's face as she said it loud enough for the dark haired girl's guardians to hear and the stern look on her grandmother's face that meant she wasn't getting out of doing math that night.

Even so, despite pulling out her notebook and seating herself at her desk, determined to do the work, Natsuki found her mind drifting once more now that she didn't have two boisterous friends over to distract her thoughts.

Her pencil absently doodled in the corner of the page with a mind of its own while her thoughts flew.

She'd run over the confrontation between Kenta and Shizuru in her mind what seemed like a hundred times that day, but it still didn't fail to bring a small thrill through her entire body when she envisioned it again.

There she had been, surrounded, when Shizuru stepped in and came to her defence, sending those boys packing. The justification had felt just as rewarding as the contact she'd had with the girl she was crushing on – not to _mention _the ride in her car.

She wondered if she was the first person who had experienced such a thing – but cut herself off.

_Don't be silly,_ she thought to herself, _of course not. She probably gives people rides home all the time._

That gremlin was determined not to let her feel happy about something, beating its fists angrily over the temporary cage she'd locked her heart in. Not tonight. Tonight she was going to bask in soft smiles and pretty red eyes that had been, just for a few moments, hers alone.

It was safe to say that she did not end up completing her math homework. In the end, when Natsuki snapped out of her day dreams, which had encompassed her thoughts for a good twenty five minutes, she looked down at the page where her hands were absently scribbling and saw she had drawn at least ten love hearts and written Shizuru's name in each of them.

She sighed, moving to tear the page from her book but stopping. Fujino Shizuru, Fujino Shizuru, Shizuru Fujino, S.F, S.F 4 N.K…okay, that one could go.

She found an eraser and removed her own initials from the heart, instead enlarging Shizuru's. She decided against tearing out the page and throwing it away; after all, it was her notebook and the page was near the centre, so it wasn't as if anyone was going to see it.

Only she would know it was there, her little secret that wasn't so small hidden away from all eyes that would seek to subjugate her for it.

Mood dampened by purpose, she finally managed to complete her homework, because a detention for not doing so would be incredibly inconvenient.

_After all,_ the gremlin said, _like you told Mai, it was nothing_. _You're working yourself up over nothing. Only a pathetic moron would do something like that._

Natsuki wondered how love struck she was with Shizuru to feel so truly euphoric over something so small. It was kind of pathetic, when she thought about it. She should be dissuading herself from getting her hopes up, but sometimes she just…wanted to feel good.

_And they'll all laugh at you for it…_

Mai didn't laugh – _because she doesn't know. _

It was true. Mai really didn't know. What Mai knew of Natsuki's interest in Shizuru only scratched the surface.

She and Shizuru had only spoken a few words _and yet I feel like I could drown…_

It was probably very unhealthy, but then, Natsuki didn't really have any healthy habits.

_Just another way to die…_

Natsuki fought of her usual growing melancholy with a glass of hot milk and an early night. She wasn't sure whether to be glad or disappointed that her dreams were empty and she simply spent her unconscious hours in the void.

_Probably a good thing_.

In the morning, she had to fight with herself not to get too worked up.

"_I'll see you at school tomorrow…"_

Those words had seemed to hold a promise, or perhaps it was just Natsuki's imagination. She knew it was most likely the latter, and yet…there was a bubble of excitement in her belly that wouldn't go away. Like dropping a menthos in cola, it felt like she was bubbling ready to explode.

She knew she was just winding herself up for disappointment, because really, what was she expecting, Shizuru to greet her with a sunny smile like they'd been friends for years? Shizuru didn't even know her, outside of who the student body had morphed her into.

Or perhaps, Shizuru wanted to be friends?

_Ridiculous._

What had happened with Mai and the others was just a fluke, and Natsuki wasn't a very lucky individual. The idea that the girl she was crazy for wanted to be her friend was just too good to be true.

Nevertheless, she couldn't completely force down her anxiety (or was it misplaced excitement?) with cold assurances and mouthfuls of mayo toast. After eating breakfast she left for school, her stride rigid and jerky. When Mai met her at the end of her street to hand her lunch and walk the rest of the way with her, she took notice of Natsuki's strange gait but said nothing, as it seemed Natsuki was definitely not in the mood to explain.

The walk was awkwardly silent, punctuated only by the loud arrival of Mikoto who latched onto Mai in a fit, telling her she'd had a dream where a giant bowl of clam ramen tried to serve her in a bowl of miso soup.

Fortunately this did not fail to get a rise out of Natsuki, who smiled for the first time that morning when she pictured Mikoto twirled around like noodles on a chopstick.

"Did you do your math homework, Natsuki?" Mai asked, deciding Natsuki had come back to them from wherever she'd been in her head. Her mother hen instincts were always present when she was around people she cared about.

"Yes, Mai," Natsuki sighed, although she was glad for the distraction; Mai turned her violet gaze to the smaller girl clutching her arm.

"How about you, Mikoto? Have you done your homework? I know you were assigned some."

"Yup! Ani ue helped me," Mikoto said proudly. Mai patted her head with a fond smile.

"That's good." Reito Minagi was Mikoto's brother; Reito spent little time with his sister in school because he was the vice president of the student council, always busy (not to mention it seemed obvious Mikoto preferred Mai's company over his) – and supposedly the boy…the boy Shizuru was dating.

Natsuki's stomach plummeted. She'd blissfully forgotten about that little detail. Her mood instantly souring, she knew that today was going to be a bad day.

Mikoto and Mai's chattering wasn't even registering in Natsuki's mind as "things going on around me" and so she only noticed they had arrived at school grounds when a loud shout from a boyish voice startled her.

Tate was jogging over, grinning at them.

"Morning," he said, greeting them each respectively. Mai returned it and so did Mikoto; Natsuki just gave him a vague nod and he smiled. "It's one of those morning, huh, Kuga?"

She just gave him a look that said she didn't want to get into it and he wisely backed off. Her tiny group of friends were well aware of her mood swings and versed on how to deal with them.

Natsuki began to zone out as Mai berated Tate when he admitted he hadn't done any homework. He was getting a walloping from Mai's book bag when Natsuki noticed a small commotion in the distance.

Her heart began to race when a small sea of students parted and Shizuru walked through, arriving on the school grounds. It appeared she was late, since all student council members were supposed to be in the building before the regular students arrived.

Natsuki watched the beautiful girl gracefully battle through her fan club from across the grounds; her breath hitched when, almost like she felt the gaze on her, Shizuru turned to meet her eyes.

It was impossible to tell from the distance, but Natsuki could have sworn those ruby orbs were sparkling.

What shocked her even more, however, was when Shizuru lifted a delicate hand to wiggle her fingers in a cute wave. People were staring, and Natsuki felt a bit surreal. Her cheeks pinked.

_Is she waving at me?_

Natsuki doubted it, but…

Suddenly an elbow landed in her ribs. She yelped; Mai was watching her expectantly, Tate staring with interest like many of the other students, most Shizuru's fans.

"Wave back, you idiot!" Mai hissed, "She's waving at you, y'know."

"No she's not, Mai," Natsuki replied, and Mai rolled her eyes.

"Of course she is! We're the only ones over here!"

Mai's words were true. Natsuki quickly glanced around to confirm it and then, with Mai's egging, hesitantly raised her arm to return the wave. Shizuru seemed delighted; a smile that even Natsuki could see lit up her face and stopped Natsuki's heart momentarily, before it picked up the slack double time.

Natsuki watched her turn and enter the school then, ignoring the way her fans looked from Shizuru to her and back again. Tate snapped her out of it when he spoke.

"Do you know Kaichou-san?" He asked, and Natsuki turned to give a smiling Mai a significant look.

"No." She replied, thoughts clouded. She walked off to enter the school, hiding her face behind her hair when she passed the fans still gathered, paying no heed to their stares and whispers. Rumours were going to circulate about this, no doubt.

_Shizuru...do you know what you're doing?_

Natsuki was lost in thought until first class, which was English.

_She waved at me, _she kept thinking, _why would she do that?_

It made no sense; but then, neither did her timely rescue yesterday or the offer for a ride. As Natsuki pondered, she wondered how Shizuru had arrived at the scene by the doors. Had she simply been passing through, intent on leaving in that direction? It was highly unlikely because council president duties had her in school after hours often – but she'd left school the same time as the regular students that day, so maybe not.

Maybe she had been watching surveillance and seen the confrontation. Fuuka High had security cameras installed at every exit so that no one could leave the school before the day was out unannounced and so few got away with bunking classes.

_Which one was it, Shizuru? _

_Why did you even bother? _

Natsuki wandered into English when the bell signalled the start of the period, occupied in her mind. She was one of the first in the class, barely hearing what Mai was yapping on about as she took her seat. Eventually Mai gave up trying to start a conversation, though Natsuki was aware in her peripheral vision of several gazes being shot her way.

One was questioning from Mai, and the other…it was a seething glare. Kenta. She ignored both.

She stared at her desk with half a mind to put her head in her arms. Instead she followed patterns indented in the wood made by pens and other stationary; some were pictures, others words, most random scribbles. It have her something to do.

Unfortunately it also meant she missed a significant gaze shot her way from the object of her affection when she entered the classroom, immediately looking for Natsuki at the back of the room.

At the desk next to Natsuki, Mai simply sighed at the drama of it all.

"Okay, class," the teacher entered, settling down the chattering students. "Today is an important part of this year's curriculum. Do you know what it is?"

A couple of students groaned. Natsuki blinked at the teacher, disinterested, hoping it wasn't another long essay about the British. They were weird people.

"That's right…" The teacher grinned, "'Tis the season of the book report!"

_Aw, shit…_

That was just as bad.

A chorus of "you can't be serious!" echoed through the classroom and only increased the teacher's amusement.

"Oh, but I am," he said dramatically, "and for this year's book report, you shall be studying none other than: Mary Shelley's Frankenstein! An odd choice, perhaps, but one of my personal favourites."

What passed through the class next was a murmur. Most of the students had never even heard of this book.

"I didn't choose this book merely because it's my favourite, however," the teacher continued, "but because the moral it delivers is much more powerful to me than a Jane Austen book about silly rich people falling in love. This is, again, my own opinion, one which you are free to argue with in your own report. So, everybody, take a copy of the book from this box I have here," he gestured to the one sitting on his desk, "and then – pick a partner to work with!"

Whispers went through the student body. Some looked confused, others relieved.

"Yes," the teacher explained, "I have decided that this will be a joint exercise to not only expand your literary culture and reading variety, but to encourage you to work with others. Everything about the English language comes down to sharing; different meanings for one word, different spellings, different opinions. Working with a partner will allow the two of you to bounce your opinions about the book off each other and hopefully help you create a well-balanced essay, as literacy thrives on opinion. So, come get your books!"

Natsuki glanced at Mai, who met her eyes instantly. They shared a mutual nod, and suddenly Natsuki was glad; this meant not only would the work load be shared, but Mai would keep her from slacking as she often did out of bad habit.

Being at the back of the class, Natsuki knew she was going to be the last few in line to get a book as a sudden bustle of activity had erupted. Students flocked to others, tittering about partnership, and went to the front of the class to get their books.

Natsuki moved, intent on doing this and then returning to Mai (who had already lined up), but found her position in the queue blocked by Kenta's sudden appearance. He sneered at her and, hidden from the teacher's view by students, gave her a harsh shove. She stumbled and instantly retreated back to her desk.

"This is my spot, fatty," he jeered, "you're taking up twenty places in line. It's not like you need a book anyway. All you do at home is eat."

It wasn't worth it, she thought sadly; she'd just get the last book when everyone else was finished. Kenta seemed smug that he'd pushed her around and into submission so Natsuki kept her eyes on her desk, determined not to look at him.

It was childish, perhaps, but she knew she wasn't brave enough to stand up to him. Besides, what would she say? She _was _fat, and it was her own fault. She deserved to be mocked for it.

Idly, as a finger traced the kanji of someone's name on the desk, she wondered who Shizuru would partner with. She'd studiously avoided looking in the girl's direction because she knew she'd probably blush all the colours under the sun and look like an idiot.

She'd heard calls of "Kaichou-san, will you partner with me?" the second the teacher had let the kids loose to decide, and realised she didn't want to picture who she'd end up working with. It wasn't her business, anyway.

_It's not like she'd pick me._

Suddenly she became aware of someone standing in front of her desk. She prayed to all and any gods who would listen that it wasn't Kenta; she didn't want to start anything this morning.

She almost didn't look up, but then there was the sound of a delicate throat clearing and she did so out of reflex.

Her heart stopped for the second time that day.

Shizuru was standing in front of her, looking prettier than ever. She was wearing a small smile, and Natsuki noticed she was holding two copies of the book in her hands. She offered one to Natsuki.

"Good morning, Kuga-san," she said, smile widening when Natsuki hesitantly took the offered volume from Shizuru's fingers.

"G-good morning, K-Kaichou-san," Natsuki replied, cursing herself for her inability to stop stuttering. She looked blankly from Shizuru to the book she had been given and back again, blinking. What…was going on? "U-um…"

"Ara," Shizuru lightly giggled; it was such a beautiful sound. "Perhaps I should have asked before I offered you the book. Can I be your partner for this book report, Kuga-san?"

The world fell away. People were staring, but Natsuki didn't care. She gaped at Shizuru, the pretty, spontaneous girl the only thing that existed in the classroom right then. Was she hearing this right? Had she fallen asleep and was dreaming this? No way was it real.

Discreetly she pinched herself; it hurt, a lot, and she didn't wake up. Shizuru was still standing there, waiting expectantly.

"Um…I…you w-want to partner w-with me?" She managed to get out around the sudden lump in her throat. She couldn't close her mouth, realising it was probably rude and unsightly, but she was just…stunned, for lack of a better word.

"Yes." Shizuru nodded surely. Natsuki blinked.

_This isn't making sense…!_

"A-are you s-sure?" She asked again, to be certain. She hoped against all hopes that this wasn't a practical joke and she was going to get laughed at and denied the moment she accepted. But Shizuru didn't seem the type to do something like that…

_How do you know? You don't even know her!_

"I am quite sure," Shizuru said with a patient smile.

Natsuki's eyes suddenly found Mai, surprised to find her being prodded into partnership by a girl named Chie. Mai met Natsuki's gaze and nodded encouragingly, even going as far as to give her a little thumbs up.

_Well, _Natsuki thought, _if it is a joke, everyone will laugh at me…but they do that anyway. _

And Natsuki couldn't quell the thrill of hope and possibility that shot through her veins. She decided…to go for it.

"U-um, I would l-love to," she finally answered and cringed inwardly, waiting for the jeers and laughs. Instead…

"Ookini, Kuga-san!" Shizuru said happily, "I am sure we are going to work splendidly together!"

Natsuki could feel a little smile forming, Shizuru's own happiness (however odd and out of place it was) infectious. This might just be a big joke, a delusion or a cruel dream, or maybe the universe was finally starting to look kindly upon her and this girl, the girl of her dreams, genuinely wanted to be friends. Either way…

…_Ureshii… _


End file.
